Happiness is your natural state

Monday, November 24th, 2008

I have a friend who just got laid off.

I met with her for lunch the other day. It was the absolute happiest I have ever seen her.

Strange but true.

It first struck me that I didn’t know that she didn’t like her job that much. Then it hit me that she probably didn’t know that she didn’t like her job that much either.

Your subconscious mind rules. You may think you have your subconscious mid under control with your conscious mind, but you don’t.

My advice, listen. Listen to yourself. You know what you need to focus on. You know what in your life needs improvement.

It may be big and you may not want to face it, but eventually you need to. And things never are as bad in reality as they are in your mind.

Know that God will never give you a problem you cannot solve.

Relax.

Then periodically take one of the items that you need to work on and work on it. You don’t have to burn the whole house down, just take on one thing at a time.

You’ll get through it. And you’ll be like my friend who is happier now than she has been evidently. I never knew this side of her and it’s great. I enjoy her even more than I did before. Bonus for everyone!

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Happiness comes from inside or outside ones self?

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

This is a subject that I will be delving into more over time. This is such a major contributing factor to personal happiness.

I simply don’t think people are being taught this by their parents, and certainly not societal influences.

I’m not sure exactly how deep this rabbit hole is, but here’s a first look at the problem.

I believe people do not know that they have the ability to control their own internal happiness thermostat.

They continuously allow others to affect their happiness level.

Talk radio, TV news, sports scores and recently, politics. Local happenings such as crime, school events that affect ones children and local community growth challenges.

People know that bad things sometimes happen to good people.

And all of this reinforces an unstated occurance in our daily lives - that others have the power to influence whether we’re “happy” or not.

My working theory on this is to acknowledge these events and continue to fight for the causes you believe in. But don’t let perceived losses make you unhappy.

Occasionally I wind up in a funeral home for a friend’s Parent or Grandparent. I have noticed that on my way out and on my way back home, that I notice the birds chirping and the smell of the jasmine or the blue of the sky a little more than I do on a “regular” day.

I know that this is because I realize for the moment that life is short and that every day is a good day. Every day is a gift.

And with that gift comes the obligation to do something important. Even if that’s just appreciating the gift.

Right now I’m managing my disappointment of the outcome of the election. My guy didn’t win.

Ok. But I’m still going to maintain a high level of personal happiness.

I have decided to simply cut back on the consumption of political news. After all, the people have spoken and it doesn’t really matter what the pundits say any more.

In my daily commute, I’m listening to more music, talking a bit more with my carpool buddy for the segment of my commute that I share or just turning the radio off.

I’m investing the time I would have spent in the evening listening to political talking heads and I’m reading. With my kids.

That’s a better outcome for my family and a better outcome for me.

I see people get really wound up about work issues and challenges. I see people get really wound up about things that happen in daily life that frankly, don’t warrant the level of reaction that people give them.

One of my favorite things I teach my sons is to give a small reaction to a small problem and save the large reactions for the large problems.

Challenges to ones personal core beliefs are omnipresent.

Challenges are like food. You are designed by your maker to eat what is needed to properly fuel your body. There is a wide variety of food to choose from. This is simply one of our gifts.

The fact that you can eat too much food and even choose to eat poor quality food is an opportunity to succeed or fail your maker’s intention. You only need a certain amount of food. And your body does well with a better quality food.

Challenges are the same thing.

How many challenges do you wish to take on?

Do you take on too many? Do you continuously feed on challenges that are bigger than yourself?

The phrase “Pick your battles” comes to mind.

Often I see individuals that aren’t managing their happiness level correctly are consuming too many challenges into their brain.

Moderation here is exactly like moderation in any other part of your life.

I’d like to see people watch a reality TV show about people that have improved their general attitude. Just like “Biggest Loser” watches people confront their overeating and underexercising, happiness is similarly improvable.

Where are the superstar “happiness” athletes?

Take on a few challenges and do something with them. Don’t accept every challenge that you stumble upon.

And don’t let outsiders presenting challenges control your level of happiness.

It’s your life. Take responsibility for it.

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