Happiness comes from inside or outside ones self?

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

This is a subject that I will be delving into more over time. This is such a major contributing factor to personal happiness.

I simply don’t think people are being taught this by their parents, and certainly not societal influences.

I’m not sure exactly how deep this rabbit hole is, but here’s a first look at the problem.

I believe people do not know that they have the ability to control their own internal happiness thermostat.

They continuously allow others to affect their happiness level.

Talk radio, TV news, sports scores and recently, politics. Local happenings such as crime, school events that affect ones children and local community growth challenges.

People know that bad things sometimes happen to good people.

And all of this reinforces an unstated occurance in our daily lives - that others have the power to influence whether we’re “happy” or not.

My working theory on this is to acknowledge these events and continue to fight for the causes you believe in. But don’t let perceived losses make you unhappy.

Occasionally I wind up in a funeral home for a friend’s Parent or Grandparent. I have noticed that on my way out and on my way back home, that I notice the birds chirping and the smell of the jasmine or the blue of the sky a little more than I do on a “regular” day.

I know that this is because I realize for the moment that life is short and that every day is a good day. Every day is a gift.

And with that gift comes the obligation to do something important. Even if that’s just appreciating the gift.

Right now I’m managing my disappointment of the outcome of the election. My guy didn’t win.

Ok. But I’m still going to maintain a high level of personal happiness.

I have decided to simply cut back on the consumption of political news. After all, the people have spoken and it doesn’t really matter what the pundits say any more.

In my daily commute, I’m listening to more music, talking a bit more with my carpool buddy for the segment of my commute that I share or just turning the radio off.

I’m investing the time I would have spent in the evening listening to political talking heads and I’m reading. With my kids.

That’s a better outcome for my family and a better outcome for me.

I see people get really wound up about work issues and challenges. I see people get really wound up about things that happen in daily life that frankly, don’t warrant the level of reaction that people give them.

One of my favorite things I teach my sons is to give a small reaction to a small problem and save the large reactions for the large problems.

Challenges to ones personal core beliefs are omnipresent.

Challenges are like food. You are designed by your maker to eat what is needed to properly fuel your body. There is a wide variety of food to choose from. This is simply one of our gifts.

The fact that you can eat too much food and even choose to eat poor quality food is an opportunity to succeed or fail your maker’s intention. You only need a certain amount of food. And your body does well with a better quality food.

Challenges are the same thing.

How many challenges do you wish to take on?

Do you take on too many? Do you continuously feed on challenges that are bigger than yourself?

The phrase “Pick your battles” comes to mind.

Often I see individuals that aren’t managing their happiness level correctly are consuming too many challenges into their brain.

Moderation here is exactly like moderation in any other part of your life.

I’d like to see people watch a reality TV show about people that have improved their general attitude. Just like “Biggest Loser” watches people confront their overeating and underexercising, happiness is similarly improvable.

Where are the superstar “happiness” athletes?

Take on a few challenges and do something with them. Don’t accept every challenge that you stumble upon.

And don’t let outsiders presenting challenges control your level of happiness.

It’s your life. Take responsibility for it.

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Dr. Isadore Rosefeld recommends to get yourself someone to talk to, to listen to your thoughts

Sunday, September 28th, 2008

This morning on Fox News their resident General Practitioner Doctor Isadore Rosenfeld was instructing on how he feels many practitioners recommend pharmaceuticals too often, and to early.

He recommended that individuals need to simply get someone to “ventilate their concerns” whether that person was a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or even as simple as a good friend. According to Dr. Rosenfeld just talking out your concerns to another human being is theraputic and beneficial.

He recommended that this course of “ventilating one’s concerns” be attempted before any issuance of pharaceuticals.

As a happiness coach I facilitate the growth and achievement of goals for individuals who are looking for improved happiness and want someone to listen and help.

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While we’re at it, let’s document happiness, too.

Sunday, September 28th, 2008

Use this free form Happiness Journal to document your happy points of your day.

You’ll learn more about yourself doing this and the corresponding Unhappiness Journal than almost anything else you do.

These two tools are the foundation of improving your happiness in your life.

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Who cares about national studies of happiness, I care about my happiness.

Sunday, September 14th, 2008

Many articles and discussions that I see on the topic of happiness purport to summarize the findings of happiness studies both current and/or historical.

My thoughts are mixed on these articles.

I’m convinced that the goal is “happier” not “happiness”.

And that’ entirely a personal matter.

In my coaching I help people by helping them identify their hotspots and temper their reactions.

I also share the concept that happiness doesn’t equal a yellow smiley face and a pollyannish approach to life. I recognize that bad things happen to good people and there’s no getting around that. And there’s no reason to try to make yourself ignore pain and the phases of grief.

My thought is that happiness is more like a personal fitness regimen. Happiness improves with practice just like personal condition improves with exercise.

I read and learn from high-level studies but that is not my focus.

An expert teacher understands high level research yet interprets concepts down to the level of their students and finds creative ways for students to put tactics and concepts to work in their lives.

For that reason I focus not on reporting on scientific studies of happiness, but on helping my students develop basic happiness improving skills and put them to work in their lives.

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Success! You’re a new member!

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

Soon it will be time to start changin’ your ways and getting more happiness time with yourself.

I will contact you at the email that you signed up with about how to get started with your new membership.

Matt

matt at happiness -boot-camp.com

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Success! You have subscribed.

Monday, August 25th, 2008

Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. You will now receive these posts by email.

Of course, we won’t share your name with anyone and you can unsubscribe anytime.

Thanks,

Matt

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We joined Technorati

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

Ok, technorati. Here’s your post. You want your link in a post to validate that I actually own this blog. No problem. <a href=”http://technorati.com/claim/faqypi8d86″ rel=”me”>Technorati Profile</a>

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I just set up an email address for this site

Sunday, August 3rd, 2008

You can reach me at matt at happiness-boot-camp.com

Sorry for the “non-link” email address. Just type it into your email client and send me an email if you’d like.

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